Bankrolls & Buttons: Another Story From My Illustrious Career at Marietta Country Club {circa 1996}

Tip time was the best time. I always appreciated the men who would quadruple roll a dollar bill and hand it to me for my tip, assuming I was an idiot and thought it was some huge bank roll. I had one member that would empty out his pocket in my hand as gratuity. From him I once received a nickel, a dime, and a button. I handed the button back and replied, "I’m all set.” Then I made a wish and tossed the remaining coins into the pond on eight.

I got promoted (which at The MCC basically meant moving you to a different area with the same members for the same amount of money) to the bar and grill area and was introduced to a show-off co-worker who liked to tell me how much she was making throughout the course of our shifts. I never really cared because I always made more than her, and her voice was more annoying than mine.

One night a teacher from my high school was there with a member, and on his 6th shot of whiskey he looked at me with glazed eyes, handed me two $100 bills, and begged me never to tell people at school how drunk he was. I was super excited because while $200 for 6 drinks is a great tip no matter what year it is, this was 1996 and I was 17 so you do the math. I assured him I would not and got in writing, on a cocktail napkin, that should I ever end up in one of his classes, I would make an automatic “A++” and receive a perfect attendance award.

Show-Off Sharon walked up to me and said, "LOOK! I just got $10 for ONE drink!"

I pulled out my $200, shoved in in her stupid face, and replied, "Oh yeah? Well guess who’s going to American Eagle this weekend?"