Things You Might Find on a Neighborhood Facebook Page

Neighborhood Facebook Pages: Where Comments Go To Die

If you’ve ever lived in a neighborhood or a building, you most likely had a group Facebook page. I trust that they began with the intention of providing information that is helpful. I can confirm that they end with the destruction of joy.

Nothing worse than seeing a “Missing Cat” post including family photos and a description of everyone’s favorite house cat, Whiskers, followed by a “Coyotes Spotted on Spring Street” announcement. You do the math, Mr. Richardson.

Somebody was speeding through the 4-way stop? You best believe Mrs. Rogers will let everyone know.

Somebody parked in your assigned parking spot? Don’t worry, per Denise Blart the tow truck will be there in 32 seconds.

Radio too loud? Lamp too bright? Grass too green? Pool water too cold? Just confirmed all of it on the post from Mr. Dorsey.

Occasionally a bitter housewife may take revenge by airing out some dirty laundry, here’s a few:

• Missing husband: last seen going into Sophia’s house while her husband is out of town. If you see him, please let him know his bag is on her front porch

• ISO younger and thinner woman to deal with my husband because while he has also gained 25 pounds, he vocalized he is happiest with women who fall into that category

• ISO man who does not complain about menial tasks such as closing cabinet doors and turning off the lights before leaving for vacation

“Who’s that strange guy with a clipboard checking our meters? Let’s get him!”

“Somebody’s horses and one donkey are crossing Interstate 575, y’all better come get them”

“These people sitting around in their idling cars are driving up the price of gas and I’m sick of it!”

“What’s this animal…I’ve never seen this crazy animal before!” *posts photo of rabbit*