He leaned over and kissed me right on the lips. Then he handed me two fifty dollar bills to keep quiet. My day was already looking up and it was only 7:45am.

Also, what in the world? I hadn’t been asked out in ages and now I’m suddenly Gisele?

I was going to have to spend all of my graduation money bailing myself out of jail and paying off the local news so my parents who lived four hours away in Atlanta would not find out about this debacle.

Missing husband: last seen going into Sophia’s house while her husband is out of town. If you see him, please let him know his bag is on her front porch

I don’t believe that anymore than you saying hi. Save yourself. Don’t need to hear it. Kari, I didn’t come to this 20 year reunion for you.

The age range of these men was somewhere between 77 and 107 years old. “Kari,” he whispered, “if you come to my hot tub party tonight, I will buy you any car you want. And I’m not kidding.” Neither was I.

Me: I really appreciate the enthusiasm. But based on the two photos you just sent me, it’s definitely a hook up.

I later learned that this type of bag was generally referred to as a “Slut Bag” so I quickly changed my tune.

I wonder if Nathaniel Hawthorne had any idea how smart phones would eventually become the avenue to instantly shame people by way of screen-shotting (yes, this is an action verb) almost anything and immediately sharing it with friends.

My hopes were not fulfilled. Also please note that any spelling or grammar errors are not mine.

Now, Erin is not normally one to make conversations with strangers, so I assumed she either thought he was hot or a serial killer.

“Then stick your hand in my pocket” may not be the best pick up line for a bar.

It was the ultimate only child move. And I was only 12.